The metaphor is very simple. The graphic shows the level of activation. All people have a zone (between the two lines) in which they are balanced – where the person is in a state of mind that permits him or her to be present in the situation, able to concentrate and learn. If a person is above the top line, we say that he or she is over-activated (hyper-activated). Their activation is too high. If the person is below the bottom line, we say that he or she is under-activated (hypoactivated). Their energy is too low.
Traumatic memories can trigger a flight/fight response. This is a hyper-active reaction, in which the body is highly activated because it is readying itself to flee or fight threats. When we are frightened by a threat, the body automatically shuts down certain activities and reinforces others.
For example, the heart beats faster and we breathe more quickly; more blood flows to the brain, arms and legs; muscles prepare for fight or flight, while the brain shifts its activity from areas that help us think through complex problems to areas that help us to respond to danger. If you cannot fight or flee (because, for example, you are a small child), your body will fall back on the most basic survival strategy we have: it will shut down. This mechanism can be observed in many small animals: they become totally inactive when they are attacked. This is a hypoactive reaction: activation falls to a minimum. The child becomes immobilised.
Most of us occasionally exceed our window of tolerance. When this happens, we need strategies that enable us to regulate (return to a tolerable state of mind).
The manual also provides tools and grounding techniques that can help children to stay within their window or return to their window when they lose control. The exercise “My Engine”, for example, is a simplified version of the “window of tolerance” that can be used with small children.
My Engine
The helper says to the child:
Imagine you have an engine inside you that drives you along like a car. To stay on the road, cars must adjust their speed. If the road is winding, they must slow down. Also, on steep hills! Our engines do something similar. When they are running slowly we feel tired and it can be difficult to focus on tasks. At other times, we have a lot of energy, we race around and it can be difficult to sit still. When we are learning things, the engine needs to run at the right speed – not too slow and not too fast. Then we can hear what others are saying and take in information we are given.
We also have an alarm system that activates automatically when something threatens us. It allows us to respond quickly and appropriately to sudden changes in our situation. If we are afraid or feel threatened, our energy immediately surges, making us ready to flee or fight. If we cannot resist or escape, however, our bodies tend to shut down. They slow right down, just as an animal plays dead if it cannot escape a predator. This can be an effective defence. We don’t feel as much pain, and immobility may help us to hide. In a way we also hide in our minds. We try not to experience what is happening. Sometimes we escape into fantasy: we let ourselves feel that we can decide what has happened or is going to happen. All of these are ways to protect ourselves.
So, when a child is sexually abused, the engine may go very fast if the child tries to escape, but may slow down to the point where the body does not respond at all. Many children who have been assaulted feel that they did not do enough to stop their abuse, and that this means they even wanted it to happen. In fact, their alarm system was trying to protect them. They responded in a normal way to danger. There is nothing wrong with them.
Sometimes our alarm systems go off when there is no danger. False alarms happen for many reasons. We imagine things in the dark, or misunderstand someone’s behaviour. We even like to awaken our alarm system a little bit by listening to exciting stories or watching frightening films. Some children who have been sexually abused cannot turn their alarm system off, however. They feel they can never relax, must always be vigilant, prepared for bad things to happen. They often feel restless, angry, unable to concentrate, out of control; or they feel exhausted, even numb.
When the alarm system has been used a lot, it is easily activated. A small incident, even a thought, can set it off. This is frightening and very stressful. You are tired when you need energy, and restless when trying to sleep.
Once again, however, there is nothing wrong with children in this situation. Their alarm system is reacting predictably to repeated risk. They need to practice gradually adjusting their engine speed until they can feel comfortable again in ordinary situations.