Read the whole story of the dragonfly
The survivor can gradually become more present (here and now) and gain more control over his life and his personal resources. The dragonfly’s eyes symbolise his ability to look beyond his traumatic experiences and see hope for the future. By this means, and by remembering good memories from his past, the dragonfly learns to use his wings again to fly. Survivors too should be free to determine their life and move in the direction they want.
The dragonfly metaphor is in four parts: (1) Life before the abuse; (2) The abuse; (3) When the survivor experiences triggers and flashbacks; and (4) When the survivor understands trauma reactions, learns to deal with them, and gradually gets better.
In the first part, the past is represented by his kind grandfather, the sound of the river where he grew up, etc. The future is represented by his desire for education, to obtain a good job, to travel, etc. The dragonfly lives in the present, between past and future.
This first part shows that the dragonfly is in a good place, has good memories of the past and hopes and plans for the future.
His legs are well planted on the ground, he is stable. It also shows what is taken away from him when he is abused; and that, as he recovers, he will be able to remember what has been good and will be able to plan again for the future. It is true, of course, that not everyone lived a happy life before they were abused; almost all, nevertheless, can recall good and important memories.
The second part shows
The dragonfly just after he has been abused. He no longer has hopes or plans and has lost faith in the future. He no longer feels safe: his legs are no longer solidly on the ground. The dragonfly has become thinner, his wings droop.
The third part focuses
On the dragonfly’s triggers and flashbacks. His wings have changed. He still has no plans for the future and no longer remembers his past before the trauma incident. In this part, his feelings are hidden behind the hurt he has experienced.
Then a transformation begins. He still experiences triggers and flashbacks: bad memories flood the dragonfly’s senses. When he hears someone running behind him, it takes him back to the moment when he was assaulted. But he learns how to help himself to be more connected to the present (the here-and-now).
The fourth part shows
The dragonfly finally getting better. He has learned to be in the present, and to deal with his emotions and with triggers and flashbacks. His legs are closer to the ground. He can talk about the past, future and present. The dragonfly is now able to fly long distances and confront the future and feels pride because he has already overcome many challenges.
The dragonfly story has a happy ending, which should be a point of discussion with survivors. Let them reflect on their own hopes for the future. They are not dragonflies, so these must be realistic.
In addition, we made a series of three animations based on those true stories. They are also complementary to the manual “Sexual violence against boys and men in war, conflict and migration, a handbook in mental health work for helpers”. Which has been developed in collaboration with Rådet for psykisk helse with support from the Norad and Stiftelsen Dam. The animations can be used in workshops as a tool.
Kumar, 61 years old, from Tamil Sri-Lanka
A man who becomes involved in a violent conflict as a young man is later arrested and tortured. After going through years of war and torture, he seeks help to save himself from his traumas.
Louis, 45 years old, from Democratic Republic of the Congo
Luis got drawn into armed conflict between the government and the rebel groups. Experiences being beaten up and tortured. Losing the closest family and home fleeing for fear of being killed. Living in a refugee camp in constant fear of being sent back to the war.
Ali, 15 years old, from North Iraq
Ali has experienced several serious losses, after his father dies. The traumatic experiences he has to go through lead him to run away from home and he begins to live in a large refugee camp before he comes to Norway. With the helpers help he will find again the meaning of life.
We hope this information is useful, you can find more resources in the menu on this page.
Best wishes, the MHHRI team